Soft Life - A Form of Empowerment or Pressure?

By Agnes Fynn

When Madonna sang “I’m a material girl living in a material world," I bet she didn’t know that generations later, women would take it seriously.

In Ghana, the pursuit of a financially comfortable life, what many young people today call the “soft life," has often sparked controversy, particularly when relationships become tied to expectations of financial provision.

In 2023, former National Service Personnel Deborah Seyram Adablah made headlines after suing a senior bank executive she described as her “sugar daddy," alleging that he had promised to provide her with, among other things, a car, accommodation, and a monthly allowance.

Her case generated widespread public debate about money, relationships, and the expectations surrounding being financially provided for.

And it’s not a matter of women in later generations, because women in the 80s and 90s, as well as women before them, wanted material things as well.

The difference may be that those women did not have a term and a trend for it. The trend in question is the soft life trend, with “soft girls and boys” actively pursuing it.

What is this soft life?

Soft life is the kind of life that comes with getting things done easily and without stress. It involves getting what one wants when one wants it.

Some young people between the ages of 18 and 25 were asked what soft life meant to them.

22-year-old Akosua says, “Soft life to me is when someone doesn’t want to struggle or go through tough moments to get what he or she wants but rather to gain the thing effortlessly.”

19-year-old Nathan says, “Soft life is a term normally given to people who portray a certain kind of enjoyment or privilege in many aspects of life, like what they eat, how they dress, where they school, and more.”

Are young women aspiring to have a soft life?

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To that, Akosua says, “If I’m determined to achieve something, I don’t mind facing hurdles to get what I want. But if there’s an opportunity for me to gain something easily without any negative aftermath effect, I wouldn’t mind considering that.

23-year-old Joyce says, “Everybody on this Earth deserves and wants to live a soft life. I would want to live a very comfortable life, having very little to think about.

You know, I have to be intentional about how I want to live my life.

I want to achieve something so that I’ll be so comfortable and have less to worry about.”

To some, soft life pertains to women only, but arguably, men are inclusive.

The only difference is that men do not mostly go on social media to tell the world that they’re living a soft life.

The Social Media Effect 

The soft life trend has always been a part of humanity. One thing making this trend more obvious and in the face of humanity now is social media.

Some 20 years back, people were not able to show their lavish lifestyle to the world, but things look a lot different now.

From a new Geely to a Vietnamese wig and a Birkin bag, they are all displayed on social media.

Though there is nothing wrong with women openly enjoying their lavish lives, it presents a simple question.

Does the soft life trend empower women, or does it create new pressures and expectations?

If a young woman sees another woman driving her dream car or wearing her “dream wig," does she have the urge to work to finance those dreams, or does she feel unfortunate or less of a woman because she doesn’t have those items?

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Akosua believes the soft life trend neither empowers nor pressures women.

“It neither empowers women nor creates pressure and expectations.

I know what I want, but if someone gets to somewhere in life easily and that ‘somewhere’ is where I want to be in the future, it might be an empowerment because to me, she was able, so it is possible.”

Nathan shares his opinion: “I strongly disagree that way of life can empower someone. I believe it lets you lag behind in life and doesn’t build character.”

For Nana Yaw, the soft life trend is making women more demanding and dependent on men.

“Most women of nowadays believe that a soft life means they should depend on a man. Many ladies feel entitled to a man’s pocket, and I believe that’s not a good thing. If the man loves you, or if the man likes you enough, he’d want to keep you comfortable,” he said.

He adds that, “Demanding it from the man, or making it a requirement of a man to keep you comfortable, just doesn’t sit right with me.”

A typical case in point was in 2018, when Ghanaian actress Moesha Boduong became the center of a national controversy after telling CNN’s Christiane Amanpour that Ghana’s economic conditions made it difficult for women to survive without men who could financially provide for them.

She revealed that a man she was dating paid for her rent, car, and other expenses in exchange for her loyalty and sex. Her comments sparked widespread outrage, with critics accusing her of portraying Ghanaian women as financially dependent on men.

Moesha later apologized, admitting that her comments were not a reflection of what happened in most Ghanaian homes.

Her experience reflects the wider debate surrounding women, comfort, money, and the expectations attached to the soft life.

At the end of the day, soft life may mean different things to different people. For some, it is about comfort, peace, and financial freedom; for others, it is the luxury and convenience that money can provide.

While the desire for a better life is not new, social media has made the pursuit of it more visible and perhaps more demanding.

Whether the soft life is a form of empowerment or another source of pressure may therefore depend on who defines it and, more importantly, whose standards they choose to live by.